A.P. Lit Baseline - Essay # 1 Analysis

We are moving forward with our analysis of your Baseline A.P. Literature and Composition Exam.  In class, I passed out the prompt for essay # 1 as well as nine sample essays identified as A, B, C,  D, E, F, G, H and I.  

Directions:  Critically read through the 9 sample essays.  I suggest you annotate so that you are making active observations about each essay's strengths and weaknesses.  In your blog, address 3 aspects of each essay: overall impression, writing skills (author's craft,  mechanical skills or lack there of) and support from the text (integration of evidence/quotes from the poem.)

You should have a minimum of 3 sentences for each of the nine essays.

Before beginning,  read the rubric (below) and the letter "An Exam Reader's Advice on Writing."


Due Monday, October 3rd.

#	Trait Description	%
9-8	These well-organized and well-written essays clearly demonstrate an understanding of how the poet expresses the complex attitude of the speaker. In their textual references they are apt and specific. Although the writers may provide a range of interpretations, these papers will offer a convincing interpretation of the poem as well as consistent control over the elements of effective composition, including the language unique to the criticism of verse. Though not without flaws, they demonstrate the writer's ability to read poetry perceptively and to write with clarity and sophistication.	100-92
7-6	These essays reflect a sound grasp of this poem; but they are less sensitive to the complexities than the best essays, and their interpretation of the poem may falter in some particulars. Though perhaps not as thorough or precise in their discussion of (how the speaker's tone) is revealed in the poem, their dependence on paraphrase, if any, should be in the service of analysis. These essays demonstrate the writers' ability to express ides clearly, but they do not exhibit the same level of master, maturity and/or control as the very best essays. These essays are likely to be briefer, less incisive, and less well-supported than the 9-8 papers.	91-81
5	These essays are, at best, superficial. They respond to the assigned task yet probably say little beyond the most easily-grasped observations. Their analysis of HOW the author creates meaning may be vague, formulaic, or inadequately supported. They may suffer from the cumulative force of many minor misreadings. They tend to rely on paraphrase but nonetheless paraphrase which contains some implicit analysis. Composition skills are at a level sufficient to convey the writer's thoughts, and egregious mechanical errors do not constitute a distraction. These essays are nonetheless not as well-conceived, organized, or developed as upper-half papers.	80-75
4-3	These lower-half essays reveal an incomplete understanding of the poem and perhaps an insufficient understanding of the prescribed task as well: they may emphasize literal description without discussing the deeper implications of the poem. The analysis may be partial, unconvincing, or irrelevant or it may rely essentially on paraphrase. Evidence from the text may be meager or misconstrued. The writing demonstrates uncertain control over the elements of composition, often exhibiting recurrent stylistic flaws and/or inadequate development of ideas. Essays scored 3 may contain significant misreadings and/or unusually inept writing.	74-60
2-1	These essays compound the weaknesses of the papers in the 4-3 range. They may seriously misread the poem. Frequently, they are unacceptably brief. They are poorly written on several counts and may contain many distracting errors in grammar and mechanics. Although some attempt may have been made to respond to the question, the writer's assertions are presented with little clarity, organization, or support from the text of the poem.	59-25
0	These essays respond with no more than a reference to the task, contain completely off-topic responses, or are blank.	24-0

AP English, is characterized by the following:

• Wide-ranging vocabulary used with denotative accuracy and connotative resourcefulness
• A variety of sentence structures, including appropriate use of subordinate and coordinate constructions
• A logical organization, enhanced by specific techniques of coherence such as repetition, transitions, and emphasis
• A balance of generalization with specific illustrative detail
• An effective use of rhetoric, including controlling tone, maintaining a consistent voice, and achieving emphasis through parallelism and antithesis

An Exam Reader's Advice on Writing:

Make a plan.

Students should not begin writing until they fully comprehend the prompt and/or the passage. Mere parroting of the prompt often leads to floundering around instead of developing a clear direction. I recommend that you advise your students to write directly on the passage and make quick notes and outlines in the margins. This planning step enables most writers to organize their ideas more efficiently.

Begin quickly and directly.

Although AP Readers are instructed to read the entire essay and not to be prejudiced by a weak introduction, a strong opening paragraph can be a real asset to a student's paper. When answering the free-response part of the AP English Exams, writers should answer the question quickly and avoid beginning with ideas that do not relate directly to the prompt. The following hypothetical introduction for Question One on the 2002 AP English Literature Exam provides an example of what not to do:

"All people at some point in time have encountered a great deal of trouble in their lives. I know of so many people who have been embarrassed by parents that will wave at you from across a room. I have a friend who told me that her parents did this very same thing."

Such generalities often signal a writer's inability to respond in a thoughtful manner, suggesting that the rest of the paper also may be incoherent or rambling. The Reader might begin to suspect that the student is just trying to bluff his or her way through the question.

One-sentence perfunctory introductions -- especially ones that repeat the wording of the prompt -- also work poorly, suggesting to the Reader that the student isn't particularly interested or doesn't care.

I recommend that teachers tell students to create an introduction strong enough to earn a grade of 3 all by itself. That means that students should learn ways to answer the entire prompt -- answer the prompt, not simply repeat it -- in the introduction. This indicates to the Reader that the paper could be heading into the upper-half zone. One way to help students improve their beginning is by providing them with several introductory paragraphs from papers that have earned a wide range of scores and asking them to identify stronger and weaker openings. (Sample papers are available in the "Exams" area of AP Central, and via the link for the "English Language and Composition Exam" in "See also," below.) Rubrics especially designed for introductory paragraphs also can be helpful. After having students collect examples of several strong openings, you may want to ask them to develop their own rubric for introductory paragraphs.

Use paragraphs and topic sentences.

Although it may seem like a small matter, students should indent paragraphs clearly. A paper without indentation or with unclear indentation often confuses a Reader. Paragraphs create the fundamental structure of the essay, and without them good ideas can get muddled. Most essays I've seen that do not use paragraphs tend to be full of confused and rambling thoughts.

Many writers find topic sentences a useful tool both for organizing paragraphs and also for helping Readers navigate through the essay.

Use quotations and explain them.

To score at least a 3, students would be wise to make use of pertinent references from the text. Encourage them to use specific quotations to back up their assertions. However, remind them that they must explain their quotes clearly and demonstrate how they are relevant to the question. It is important for young writers to realize that offering long quotes without explanation bogs down the essay and can give the undesirable impression that the student is trying to fill up space rather than answer the prompt!

Create variety.

Short, choppy sentences without variety indicate a student who has little background in grammar and style, perhaps someone who has read and written minimally. Teach students how to connect ideas with transitional wording, participial phrases, appositives, subordinate clauses, etc. I ask my students to imagine children making the same tower or castle each time they played with blocks. They soon would become bored. Likewise, both writers and readers get bored when everything is formulaic, lacking some individual pizzazz! I suggest asking them to experiment with different sorts of syntactical devices to help them develop a sense of style.

Find the right word.

An arsenal of appropriate vocabulary and analytical wording reveals a brilliant mind at work, but writers should make certain that the words fit. Some students stick in big words just to sound scholarly. Ironically, some of their papers score only a 2 because they lack clarity and sometimes say nothing of relevance to the prompt.  
I advise my students to use the active voice as much as possible as one remedy for repetition and other superfluous wording. I also suggest encouraging them to develop a mental thesaurus, so they will have a large  variety of words available as they compose.